Surviving the first 6 weeks

Before I begin I have to point out the cute Juicy Couture outfit that Eva is wearing today. It was a gift from a friend and I hope Eva enjoys wearing it because it will likely be her only designer outfit for the next 18 years. If Mama has to buy her sweatpants at Target, so do you.

Today we've officially hit the 6 week mark. I think this is an important step because it symbolizes moving past the "Oh my gosh. They gave me a baby that I have to take care of. I will never sleep again." phase. I remember being in the hospital after my c-section and being pretty sure that I would never recover from the surgery. I asked my mom how I would recover and take care of a baby and move on to normal life. She assured me that each day would get a little bit easier and I would get stronger. Everyone who talked to me about this said, "Give it 6 weeks." At the time 6 weeks seemed like both an eternity and way too short of a time to recover.

But it happened. As the days passed I was able to get out of bed or up off the couch without an assisting hand. I was able to stop taking pain meds and feel like an almost normal person. One day I decided that I could transition into regular clothing instead of being limited to pajamas. I napped less and moved around more. I've even reached the point of cooking my own food again and eating off of real plates instead of disposable (although if you offer to bring us food, I will never turn you down....).

During the first 6 weeks I also fell so in love with our little girl. I love holding her and playing with her every day. I've changed a million diapers and spent hundreds of hours nursing her. I've learned to tell what her cries mean. We've gotten into a routine. She keeps on growing - which I'm pretty sure that I told her not to do - and getting more fun as she interacts with us each day. I'm so incredibly thankful that I get to stay at home with her because I can't imagine leaving her to go back to work at this point.

I've also experienced motherhood amnesia. Not the kind where you are forgetful of everyday things. More like the kind where any hard memories have been completely erased. When we were at Northpark earlier in the week I saw so many pregnant women and kept thinking about how much I loved being pregnant. I have this vague memory that it was hard but when I look back all I remember is how amazing it was and how sweet it was to feel Eva moving around inside me. The same thing happens when I think back about being in labor. I can remember so many of the details of that day, but somehow the pain seems so much less that what it actually was. In the first few weeks when every task seemed hard I couldn't imagine having more than one child. Now I get excited about having more kids one day (in a few years, not too soon).

Our life will never be the same as it was before we had her. Sometimes I still look at Ryan and say, "Can you believe that we really have a baby????" I feel a little bit sad to transition away from the time of having a brand new baby but I know that each month with her will be full of joy and new memories. I feel so proud for surviving the first, hardest part of having a newborn.

I'm even ready to start working out for real. I bundled up this precious girl to go for a long power walk this morning :)