Me (age 12) with my sister Sara Rose Elizabeth
When I was almost 12 years old my parents had a second child. I was so excited to finally have a sibling! A sweet baby girl named Sara Rose, or "Rosie." She was born with Down Syndrome and a hole in her heart. She was able to be part of our family for about a year before she passed away from complications resulting from open heart surgery. Her life and death had a tremendous impact on our family. It was my first real experience with the death of someone I loved and it was heartbreaking.
Sara Rose died on September 11, 1996. For many years after that September was marked by sadness for our family as we remember the anniversary of her death. Ironically, it was 5 years later on September 11, 2001 that the World experienced a different 9/11. That was actually the first time I had gone to school on the anniversary of her death. I remember it as a sad, shocking day.
When I found out that my due date for Eva was originally September 10th, I began to realize the possibility of having her on the 11th. I thought about it and realized that if that happened, it would be special but at the same time I was okay if it didn't happen. More importantly, I recognized how awesome it was for it to be in God's plan for my baby to be born anytime in September.
My baby will never replace my sister, but I feel like God has been purposeful in redeeming the time for my family. My sister will always be remembered, but now September is a month full of joy and excitement. Each year September will be celebrated as Eva continues to grow older. I love that the Lord could foresee this in His wisdom. For many years I don't think my family could ever imagine celebrating at the beginning of September, but for me at least, God has turned sadness into rejoicing and praise. I wanted to write about all of this to remind myself to trust God more in all circumstances. We don't always understand why things happen and the pain of this life is real. But God is good and His love for us is greater and deeper than we can imagine.
Sara Rose died on September 11, 1996. For many years after that September was marked by sadness for our family as we remember the anniversary of her death. Ironically, it was 5 years later on September 11, 2001 that the World experienced a different 9/11. That was actually the first time I had gone to school on the anniversary of her death. I remember it as a sad, shocking day.
When I found out that my due date for Eva was originally September 10th, I began to realize the possibility of having her on the 11th. I thought about it and realized that if that happened, it would be special but at the same time I was okay if it didn't happen. More importantly, I recognized how awesome it was for it to be in God's plan for my baby to be born anytime in September.
My baby will never replace my sister, but I feel like God has been purposeful in redeeming the time for my family. My sister will always be remembered, but now September is a month full of joy and excitement. Each year September will be celebrated as Eva continues to grow older. I love that the Lord could foresee this in His wisdom. For many years I don't think my family could ever imagine celebrating at the beginning of September, but for me at least, God has turned sadness into rejoicing and praise. I wanted to write about all of this to remind myself to trust God more in all circumstances. We don't always understand why things happen and the pain of this life is real. But God is good and His love for us is greater and deeper than we can imagine.
My mom, grandma Dede, Eva, and Me - Celebrating Eva's Birth!You have turned my mourning into dancing.
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.
Psalm 30:11
I remember your sweet Sara Rose. It was so soon after we became friends that she passed away. I was blessed to be able to support you through that time. We were so young and I had no idea how to help but I hope I did at least a little bit!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that now you'll be able to welcome September with joy as you celebrate Eva and remember Sara Rose.
This is a beautiful blog post and you strike a perfect balance in talking of joy and grief. I had worried about how both you and your mom, and your dad, would respond to a September birthday for Eva. But from your writing I understand that the family's healing has been taken to a different level. It's not replacement - it's enrichment. Each baby is unique and Rosie's memory will always be special.
ReplyDeleteI remember so much about that year, there was a lot of walking around the neighborhood talking. It's wonderful to read that September has been redeemed for you. God's timing and purpose for things can be quite a pleasant surprise.
ReplyDeleteWow Kate. What a beautiful post and remembrance of your sweet little sister. I didn't know that...it IS truly amazing how God works in mysterious ways. His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts greater than ours.!
ReplyDelete