Monday Musings {children.homeschool.life}

Today we started back to our regular life routine. Homeschooling. Ryan working. Housework. As I've gone through this morning I keep feeling like we just can't quite click into a rhythm or routine or whatever that works just right for our family. I love planning out our school and our days, but so often my well intended thoughts turn into a day that feels like we are just tumbling down a hill instead of making slow steady strides up the mountain. Do you know that feeling?

Here's my honest thoughts. I love the idea of homeschooling. I want to be the mom that gets to teach her children and create in them a love for learning and a love for Jesus. I want to be the one teaching Eva how to read and crafting little projects with her. I want to see her face light up with discovery. I really, truly want all of that. Eva's God-given personality of half Tigger, half Eeyore, mixed with Jensen's stage of getting into everything, make doing school hard. In my mind I would like each day to look like this: breakfast, playtime, school time with Eva while Jensen naps, playtime, lunch time, maybe a bit more learning, afternoon rest time, play time, dinner time, family time. That seems simple enough. I believe little kids need tons of time to play so I want to balance it well with more directed learning time. Also when Eva is working on school stuff she usually needs me to be with her. So much of her activities are interactive so it's not like I can expect her to work on much independently at this point. We are doing science experiments, or playing games with numbers, or reading stories, or talking about letter sounds. It's all great, but it takes a lot of attention on my part. I know other moms have done this, and have done this with lots of more children running about, so why can't I figure this out?

I do put off big chores during our school days, but there are always little things that need to be done. I have to change diapers, or wash dishes. Today I felt bad because after our school time Eva really wanted me to play dollhouse with her, but I wanted to cook a batch of soup for lunch and I knew that needed to be done prior to actual lunch time. I told her she could go play or she could help, so she chose to mostly just sit on the counter and watch me. I know that isn't bad, because she was still enjoying being with me, but it makes me feel like I can't take any time for things like soup making without it coming across like I don't want to play with her.  Plus then Jensen is either crawling around like a wild banshee or contained to the pack and play. Today he was ready for a snack so it worked out a little better but that was just luck.

Also some times during the day, I'm all played-out. I love my kids, but making dolls pretend to be real life babies who need to be changed, fed, put to sleep, and walked is only exciting for so long. The firetrucks can put out pretend fires. The blocks can be made into a house, or a tower. We play kitchen and I eat pretend food. All fun things...until your grown up mind is done with it. I really want to be able to be home with my kids, to play with them some, and to let them play without me for some time for me to take care of other things. This seems realistic right?

Right now Jensen still takes two naps a day, so it feels like most of our day revolves around feeding him, playing, nursing, and getting him ready for his next nap. I know it won't be like this forever. It just makes it hard to even find time to get out of the house without it being a marathon to get out the door only to need to return an hour later. 

We've considered putting Eva in preschool, but really any good program around us is too expensive for us right now. I would love for her {and Jensen...} to get to go play with other kids like 2 mornings a week from 9-12pm, but even that costs a lot of  money when you live off of one income. 

I've prayed a lot about all of these things and I feel like probably the best thing is to keep it all in perspective. We are just in a season with a busy kid and a curious {almost} toddler. In a six months they will each be in a new stages and we will have to find the balance all over again. Really I have always dreamed about the stage in life when I could be home with two little kids, watching them learn and become friends. I really don't think I would want a job outside of the home....but some days I just wish I felt better at balancing everything. Maybe there isn't a perfect rhythm. Maybe you just do the best you can do with each day, love your kids a ton, and thank God for the moments in the day when you're all headed up the hill together. I realize that every day can't be Maria VonTrapp marching through the hills of Austria with her seven coordinated children laughing and singing behind her...but I sure would enjoy more moments like that.