50 days

Bump Pics: weeks 27-32

50 days. That is the most possible time we have left until Jensen is born. We have our c-section date scheduled and are counting down the days. 50 million weeks. That is how pregnant I feel right now. Ahhh, I just feel so many mixed emotions right now. In some ways I am so ready to be done but in other ways it feels like it will happen all too soon. Here is my 32 week update:

*Pants: They are necessary to stay warm but gosh I am so tired of wearing them. This is definitely the downside of being pregnant in winter. With Eva I could wear dresses the last month or so. I got some stretchy maternity "workout" pants back in November and these are my best bet. And by "workout" clearly I mean sleeping or bending down to pick up everything I drop.

*Sleep: I remember from being pregnant with Eva that sleep at the end of pregnancy is like a cruel joke. Your body is exhausted, you know you are going to be even more tired when the baby comes, you feel like you could literally fall over asleep at 7PM and yet at bedtime it is so hard to actually fall asleep and stay asleep, even when I am wearing my comfortable "workout" pants.

* Restless Legs and Leg Cramps: yay.

* Morning All day sickness: Yep, still there.

* Heartburn: I really didn't  have this with Eva so it was a fun surprise to wake up in the middle of the night with this. 

* Mid-night snacks: I've held off on this as long as possible but the past week I've started waking up starving in the middle of the night. Nothing like enjoying a bowl of cereal in the dark at 2AM. Gives you lots of time to think  :) 

I write all of this really not to complain, but to help me remember 3 months from now when I'm suddenly missing being pregnant. It's funny how quickly you forget the discomforts of pregnancy once you are loving on a cuddly newborn. 

Lots of people are asking me, "So are you ready?"  Hmm, let's define ready. We have a pack and play in the closet. I know the location of the pack and play sheets, although I should probably wash them. I have a few packs of diapers and LOTS of tiny boy clothes. I guess that's enough to be considered "ready." We cleaned out and organized the nursery after Christmas and I still have lots to get and do in there before it is really ready for me to enjoy for him. I think I'm supposed to register with the hospital soon and should probably look into packing a hospital bag in the coming weeks. And then there is the emotional aspect of being "ready." I am ready to kiss my baby. I'm not quite ready for the big life change of having a new person in our family. Honestly when I think about taking care of two kids it kind of overwhelms me. I know lots of moms have done it and we will adjust and things will be fine. It just kind of freaks me out. Also when I think about only have 50 days left with just us and Eva it makes me cry. Alot. I love her sooooo much and I don't want our relationship to change. I worry about her feeling left out or jealous. I hate that she has to be away from us for 3 nights when I'm in the hospital, especially knowing that even when we are all together back home things will be so different. I know having a sibling will be so good for her and ultimately she will love him and have so much fun with him. I know she will adjust and still feel loved and become an awesome helper. I'm just trying to soak in the last weeks of getting time with just me and her. I've also really enjoyed having some extra time with Ryan over the holidays. He is such a good husband and I know the extra stress that a newborn puts on your marriage so I'm thankful for the time we've had to just relax and laugh. 

I've been told that one day we will look back and hardly be able to image what our life was like before Jensen. I am looking forward to making sweet new memories as a family of four. The countdown is on....