Sleep Training

I've decided to share my thoughts and experiences with going through sleep training. I know that for some moms this can be a hot topic issue. I'm sharing what we've done and learned only because when I was making decisions about what was best for our family it was really intimidating for me to get good advice from people without feeling pressured from one side or the other. So when you read this know that I'm not judging you whether you decide to sleep train or not. I believe that most parents love their baby and cherish sleep. Do what works for your family.

Before I had Eva I read some books about babies and sleep. Lots of books full of research and ideas that all sound fine in theory. There is really a lot of good, research based informatin about sleep training. Some of my favorite books were Health Sleep Habbits, Happy Child; The Happiest Baby on the Block; No Cry Sleep Solution, and Babywise. Some of these books actually contradict each other, but that's okay, I wanted to read all the info that was out there. I felt like based on everything that I read it was a good idea to sleep train our baby once she was around 6 months old. Enter real life.

Maybe your baby slept through the night at 2 weeks old and never looked back. Awesome for you! Eva slept through the night (from 11PM-7AM) around 8 weeks, but that trend was short lived. Since then we've been on a sleep train roller coaster, trying to chase after those ZZZ's. 

A few things to consider when looking at the idea of sleep training. It is hard to listen to your baby cry, even when you know they are okay. When you are nursing frequently it is somewhat easy and convenient to just nurse your baby and let her peacefully fall back asleep. When your child is small for their age it is easy to worry that if they don't continue to eat during the night they will starve and of course I don't want my baby to feel hungry.

With all these things in mind we decided maybe 3 months ago to try to sleep train Eva. She was waking up and nursing 2-3 times between when we put her to bed and when she woke up in the morning. That's a lot of interrupted sleep for me and her! I needed to do something for both our sakes. I decided to do a check-and-console method where I'd let her cry 5-10 minutes and then go check on her. For us, this did not work at all. She cried for so long, I cried so much, and nobody in our house was sleeping well. We gave up after 3 nights of this.

Then at her 15 month check-up our pediatrician asked to make sure she was sleeping through the night. I know this is something he is passionate about and I was prepared for this question. He had asked a few times in the past and this time he seemed more concerned that at 15 months she really should be sleeping through the night. He assured me that it was okay for her to cry a little bit and that she wasn't actually hungry, just seeking that comfort. Since she eats 5 times a day and would still be nursing during the day she would be fine nutritionally. That night, while Ryan was out, I went back and reread some parts of the books I had read before. I was so torn. I felt guilty for letting Eva continue to nurse at night. I felt guilty for letting her cry if we sleep trained her. I was exhausted. Poor Ryan came home to a very emotional wife.

Once I was more calm and rationale we decided that we would try sleep training for a week and see how it went. That first night it was hard not to go in when she cried. I was obviously still awake, so I was still pretty tired. This time though we decided that we would give her a longer period to cry before going in and checking on her. This sounds mean, but was actually so much better. I think the first time we tried it that it confused her for me to come in and then leave her frequently. Letting her have a longer time period to cry made it easier for her to realize that she could put herself back to sleep. Even during the beginning when she could cry longer it was more like CRY, fall back asleep, cry, fall back asleep, cry, sleep....so I could tell that she was learning to comfort herself. And really after a week of some tears we were all sleeping so much better.

We've had a few ups and downs the past 6 weeks. Now when she wakes up crying I'm able to make myself think about how she is crying before checking on her. If she seems scared (like waking up from a dream) or on nights when she isn't feeling well I do go in and comfort her. Or if she cries for a while and seems like she is having a hard time setting back down I will occasionally take her a sippy cup of water to help her calm down. I will hold her for a minute and tell her how much I love her. But I won't nurse her. Now she's so used to it that she doesn't even ask (or sign) to nurse during the night.

I love my little girl sooooo much. This was a really hard decision to make. I think it was the right decision for our family, but I also don't regret not trying to do it earlier. I feel like sleep training is more effective when everybody is really ready for that. I needed to be emotionally prepared for those hard nights. I needed to know that Eva was physically ready to not eat during the night and that she was able to figure out how to get herself back to sleep without bawling for hours.

I hope this post helps some mama out there that is wanting more information so that she can make a good choice for her family. Please don't leave any negative comments, whether you think babies should be sleep trained at 4 months or should never be left to cry in their crib. I'm sure there are people that raise healthy, happy babies in both scenarios. Supportive, encouraging comments - or prayers for continued good sleep - are always welcomed and appreciated :)

PS. Here is my question to other parents out there. How do you sleep train a 2nd baby when your kids share a room? I could see us facing this challenge in a few years and I want some feedback for people who've gone through it!