Guest Post: Why Is Making Adult Friends so hard? {Thankful for Community}

Thank you to Angela from Living Pretty for this guest post. Angela teaches 4th grade at the same elementary school that I used to work at. I follow her blog and when I read this post I knew that it was something that so many women can identify with. Most women want friends. Real friends that they can laugh with and cry with. Friends that you can call to chat about real stuff, or sometimes to chat about nothing at all. We have this innate desire because God created us for authentic relationships. Not relationships based on pride or vanity. Relationships based on love and true acceptance. Know this about me, that if I take an interest in you and act like I want to be your friend, it is because I actually want to be your friend.

Today I am thankful that we were created for community...for the friends I have and love...for the opportunity to reach out and connect with other women.

Why is making adult friends so hard?  

Friends.  That's what we are going to talk about today.  I feel like I have been searching for friends for forever.

Little background:
I went to a small private school my entire life.  I was friends with who I was friends with because they were in my class for years on end.  Thankfully, those friendships have developed into much more than "I am your friend because I have known you for 12 years."

I also went to the same church for a really long time.  My other group of friends are from church.  and I love them dearly.  However, not a single one of them lives nearby.

Speed up to present time:
I have lots of good friends at work.  They are funny, and sometimes we hang out outside of work.  It is always a blast.

I have several friends at church.  Those are in different stages of relationships.

Those friendships I developed when I was younger are pretty strong because most of them I talk to on a regular basis or if we don't don't talk on a regular basis, we are able to pick up right where we left off.

Here's the problem I am struggling with:  I want refrigerator friends.  (Meaning-I am comfortable to come over to your house and eat whatever from your fridge without asking and you are able to do likewise.)  ***Let me state, that I do have one of these nearby, and I don't want that person to think I don't consider them in this category, I do!

I want to be vulnerable with this person. I want to talk about all those things that I call my faraway friends and talk about. I want to come over when my husband is monopolizing the tv.  I want you to stop by whenever. I want you to invite yourself over for dinner.  I want you to sit on my couch and eat junk food and watch Real Housewives.

I have been looking for friends like this for years, since college.  Why is it so hard?  I feel like I put forth effort.  I am always looking for people to invite over for dinner.  Maybe they will be my fridge friend.  But then I find out that they already have enough fridge friends or they are in a different stage of life than me and that doesn't work for them.  (Regarding the stage of life thing, I think it is a load of crap.  My best friend lives hundreds of miles away and has a baby, and we make it work.  I think if we live in the same town, we would be able to make it work.)

I don't understand what else I have to do.  Do these friends exist?  Am I wishing for something that is intangible?