Sleep Monster

For the past 2 weeks there has been a sleep monster in our house. You know, the kind of monster that sneaks in while your child is supposed to be sleeping and instead makes them restless and causes them to cry frequently and resist sleep. Every single day last week Eva refused to take an afternoon nap. The morning nap was fine but the afternoon one was just not happening. I would put her down sleepy but awake, she would play for 30 minutes, then cry for 15 minutes until I would finally decide to go ahead and get her up. This meant that she was overly tired by bed time, leading to more tears and restless sleep all night long.  What is causing this? One theory is the evilness of teething. She is cutting 4 teeth at the same time right now. Ouch. The second theory is that she is moving towards a typical toddler pattern of taking only one nap a day.  Let's discuss this option. In theory, she would simply merge her two 1 1/2 hour naps into one great 2-3 hour nap right in the middle of her day so that she would still get plenty of sleep and have energy to make it all the way to bedtime. Too bad that babies don't read theory books. Instead I've tried to put her down in the middle of the day but she still only naps for 1 1/2 hours. She's exhausted by bedtime. She cries so much during the day because her little rhythm of life (feeding, sleeping, playing) is all messed up. She wakes up in the middle of the night way too many times for way too long each time. Plus I am trying to combat the time I'm loosing for her not taking a 2nd nap by waking up early most mornings to squeeze in things that I can't get done with her during the day. And Ryan has been working a lot. Our entire house is exhausted.

I read this quote on a website about baby naps:
The move from two naps to a single afternoon nap is a hallmark of toddlerhood, but it’s fraught with confusion for parents. Your tot knows when he’s ready to transition, but with decidedly limited verbal capabilities, he can’t easily clue you in.

Instead, he cries and fights naptime, wakes up tired after a too-short nap, or skips them altogether. Even worse, diminished day sleep may leave him so overtired that he sleeps restlessly and wakes at night. The result: a cranky toddler with exhausted parents.

Umm, is the author of this article secretly spying on us???? This is exactly how I would describe our life right now.

To make matters worse, I will admit that when it comes to sleep schedules I suffer from extreme Mama guilt. I have read so much about sleep for children that I know that it's really important for them to keep a routine and that early bedtimes are best for kids, even bigger kids. I'm also married to a youth pastor which means that many nights out of the week we are involved with things that keep Eva up later that I would like. So I'm left trying to decide if I protect her need to sleep at the cost of being less involved with serving our church or if I decide to make serving a priority at the cost of Eva being overly tired and emotional. And I know that there are people on both sides of this issue that would say that I should let this be the season of life where I just do less or that would say that I should make Eva be flexible to our schedule. I usually just try to balance between nights we're out later and nights she can sleep earlier, but still....Mama guilt.

Does it help that on the day that I decide to skip going up to the high school to have lunch with Ryan and some students so that Eva can nap earlier I look outside our living room window 15 minutes after I put Eva down to see this scene? Work men digging a giant hole with some motorized vehicle that are talking and making lots of noise right below where my baby girl is finally sleeping? No. It doesn't help. Unless they are burying a few ZZZ's for me to catch, or possibly some gold, I really don't care about whatever they're wanting to put in that hole.

Look how cute she is when she isn't tired and cranky :) I love her so much, I just wan to do whatever I can to help her little body adjust.  During my quiet time this morning I read through the book of Thessalonians.

1 Thessalonians 16-18 says:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I guess that instead of worrying too much about sleep, or lack thereof, I will rejoice that today my baby is healthy. I will pray for God's blessing of peace and ask for wisdom for each choice I make. I will give thanks that even on days when I'm really tired or frustrated, His love is enough. I will give thanks that I get to stay home with Eva because there is no where else I'd rather be. I will rejoice for the nap time that she does get because a little bit is better than nothing. I will pray that He will fight that sleep monster for me. I will PRAISE HIM for knowing exactly what my heart needs. And I will trust God to help Eva in all ways, believing that He truly loves her even more than I do. That's worth finding joy in.