Crazy Bird Lady

Is there anything better than being woken up by the sweet song of a bird every morning? Yes. Pretty much everything in life is better than being woken up by a bird. Now instead of imagining this  happening to you with one bird, imagine a whole nest of baby birds and their mother. And instead of just in the morning, imagine it happening every single time you lie down to take a nap. And instead of a sweet song, imagine a terrible loud screeching chorus. This must be how Eva feels.

Every time she sleeps or wakes, there is a horrible chirping sound in her room. It wakes her up early from her nap and early in the morning. Once I tried to lie down with her on the guest bed to help her sleep a while longer and I couldn't. The sound was maddening. I've only noticed this the past few days so I'm guessing it is coming from a new nest of baby birds.

I have become the crazy bird lady trying to figure out where the birds are and how to make them go away. Multiple times I have marched down the stairs to stand in the grassy area with my baby on my hip wondering aloud, "WHERE??? Where are those stupid birds?" I bang on the walls in her room and shout, " BE QUIET CRAZY BIRDS!" but that only works for a moment. However, the fact that they hear me bang and yell makes me pretty certain they are somewhere within the framework of the apartment (like a vent somewhere) and not in a tree outside.

Which brings me to my next point... my theory with animals, insects, spiders, etc. is that they were created to be outside and as long as they are in their home they should be given a chance to live and left alone. For example, if you see a scary spider outside, let it live. It's doing what it's supposed to be doing. If you see a scary spider in your house, ask your husband to kill it so that it doesn't bite you or your child. Seems fair. I do not actually want the birds to be killed, that's too sad, but I do need them to migrate somewhere else.

My mom suggested we put a fake owl on the balcony, but from where the sound is coming from I don't think they'd see it. I called the apartment office and asked for their suggestion. They said they'd check with maintenance and see what options there would even be. I'm not mad at the office at all, I'm not even sure what I'm hoping they'll do.

All of this just adds to my general dislike of birds. Yes, they are cute on some decorations (like my blog background), but what about when they leave unwelcome surprises on your car (or your shirt!) or gather in giant masses near an intersection just waiting to swoop down and make your car fly away? I think it's time for them to all fly north for the summer. Feel free to leave suggestions for our problem. She already sleeps with a white noise sound machine and we leave the AC fan running while she sleeps to block out other sounds. I've tried letting her sleep with a lullaby CD on before but then I can't use the baby monitor to listen for when she's awake.

Signed,
A Crazy Bird Lady and her Non-Sleeping Daughter