Goodbye Cosby

I apologize in advance that this is one of the saddest posts I've ever written, but I need to write it anyway. Last night we had to put our dog, Cosby, to sleep. It was a sad, terrible, long night. We got home from Bible study and he was fine. He went outside like he normally does and when Ryan and I went to bed around 11:30PM, Cosby went right to his bed like he always does. About 45 minutes later I woke up because it sounded like he was sick to his stomach. He wasn't, but he was walking around strangely and making sounds so that I couldn't tell if he was sick or couldn't breathe. I carried him outside and knew right away that something was wrong. The way he was standing was wrong, the way he walked was wrong and he looked like he was in pain. I carried him back inside and he fell over and couldn't get back up. Ryan also noticed that his stomach was very bloated and hard. We had to make a terrible middle of the night decision. We decided that it would be best for Ryan to take him to an all night vet clinic because we knew that otherwise we wouldn't sleep at all and would worry all night. We also knew that we were most likely going to be putting him to sleep since he was old, has had other health problems, and we didn't have much money to spend to treat him. I gave him lots of goodbye kisses and petted his soft head and furry ears. I told him that I loved him so much and that he had been the best dog ever for the past 6 1/2 years. It was so incredibly hard to say goodbye and let Ryan take him away but I knew it was the right decision.

Ryan said the vet was so kind and agreed that with his age and other conditions it was the best thing for Cosby to put him to sleep. Ryan stayed with him and told me that he looked like a tired old man that was ready to go. The vet said that he likely had a stroke along with another stomach condition. She relieved some stomach pressure so that he would be able to breathe and not be in too much pain before he died.

So last night was a very hard night. Ryan got home around 3:30 AM and I was still crying. We finally went to sleep right around 4 AM, exactly when Eva decided to wake up. Being so sad and so tired is a hard place to be.

I truly loved Cosby so, so much. When I rescued him he was already potty trained, never chewed anything, never barked. He was friendly, if not slightly awkward, around others. He made parties with college friends more entertaining. He posed for countless pictures with roommates and other dogs. When I lived in a house with no backyard fence, he never ran away - he would simply walk around the yard and wait on the front porch when he was ready to come inside. He cuddled with me on cold nights or when I was sad. Until his later years he was always happy to see me when I got home from work. He loved to stand on the edge of our couch and look out the window. He grew to tolerate and then love Ryan. I've actually had Cosby longer than I've known Ryan. He was good with kids and let our nieces and Eva pet him. He was more of a family member than a pet.

I do feel guilty that during his last few months his world changed when we brought a baby home. Of course, I loved Eva more and had to give her much of the attention that he used to get. I know that is right and normal. I think he was okay and adjusted well, but I do wish I could have played with him more. I know I have to be okay with how things were and let this go, but right now it's hard.

I do feel so thankful for the years I got with him. When he was sick a while back with heart problems and Cushings disease the vet told us that he probably had 2 weeks to live. That was 2 1/2 years ago, so we did get extra time to love and cherish him. Extra holidays, extra walks, extra snuggles under the covers.

Our memories of him won't be forgotten. Thank you to everyone who has sent us kind messages. We sure loved our silly old man of a dog.